My new pen pal lives in Nigeria

Craig Garrett, a world traveler and farm supervisor who lives in Arvin, recently had his hotmail e-mail account hacked and his password stolen. Somebody, apparently (but not necessarily) in Nigeria then sent e-mails to everyone in his address book -- part of a new epidemic of Internet schemes that combine "phishing" with the old Nigerian 419 scam. Posing as Craig, the scammer said he was stranded after having left his money and passport in a taxi. Could we send $2,300 via Western Union?

This is a variation of the old ruse in which someone poses as a government official with $14 million to give away, or an exiled Nigerian prince, or an investor, or some such thing. Send them money and rest assured you’ll never hear from them again.

I received one of these e-mails from “Craig” and, after satisfying myself that “real Craig” had never left the country, I decided to have fun with Evil Craig. I e-mailed and offered to send him money. “Craig” figured he had a live one. Here are some edited highlights from our conversation. It was like writing my own Saturday morning cartoon show:

NOT CRAIG : Thanks for the email and your help. I Knew i could Count on you. I will like you to send the money via Western Union Money Transfer. Please the money Should be sent in the name of the hotel management because of the loss of my passport.

ME: Craig, Uncle Fester said he can send $20 but I told him that is not enough, please try to get more. So he said he will ask Colonel Sanders to help. Harvey Hall said he is worried about sending money all the way to Nigeria. He wants you to send a photo of the hotel manager.

NOT CRAIG: Hello,Thank you for the mail, I dont have photo of hotel manager. After I receive the money I will email you on the arrangements to get back home. your friend, Craig .

ME: Harvey said that is OK, he will give me $400 to send to you, but you must help him build a fence when you get back to keep the neighbor’s llama from coming into his yard and eating his rutabagas. Is that OK?

NOT CRAIG: Ok , No problem, I will be waiting for the western union details.

ME: Uncle Fester gave me $22 but it is all in nickels. I think Western Union will accept it. Fester said he will only let me send it to you if you agree to let him take your photograph for his calendar. It is the Buttonwillow Alfalfa Cooperative’s 2010 calendar. He wants you only wearing underwear and suspenders. You can have your choice of April or September. Is that OK?

NOT CRAIG: i have not eat anything since morning pls do not let me die here, I will be waiting for you the western union information. your friend, Craig .

ME: What about the photograph for Uncle Fester’s calendar? He is standing here now asking me. He says boxer shorts are OK.

NOT CRAIG: Yes Boxer shorts is ok but let me get home first

The entire two-day conservation is here.

Read my column on Craig Garrett here.