My psychiatrist prescribed Mr. Wiggles

A physician friend of mine occasionally launches into prolonged rants about the frustrations and hilarity of dealing with his idiosyncratic collection of patients. Dr. Bill (we'll leave it at that) sent this one this morning:

"You should write an article about how everyone feels that they can bring a dog everywhere with them.

"I had a patient bring her small dog in the office with her for a visit. We told her that it was inappropriate as others may be allergic to dogs (in fact that may be why they are in the office). Of course, seeing-eye dogs are welcomed, as well as seeing-eye dogs in training. K-9 police do not bring the dogs into the office.

"The reply is that she will get a letter from her psychiatrist stating that it is a companion dog and she needs it as therapy.

"Hey, it is still my office -- what about a letter from my psychiatrist stating that I need a cow to feel comfortable?

"Do I take it to the hospital?

"Is it safe for people to have dogs bouncing around on their laps while they are driving? Is it safe for us to have other drivers with dogs on their laps while they are driving? What if everyone brought their dog to my office? People are just too weird these days."

Dr. Bill may be on to something. The part about the therapeudic cow, I mean. If I had a cow in the office maybe I wouldn't have to keep using this awful Coffee Mate stuff. I can't think of a single drawback to the "personal cow" idea. With the possible exception of our rather small elevator.